i miss him

tak sanggup lagi aq na tutup sakit aty neh , tapii aq akan cuba sedaya yg mampu kerna aq cinta dy , asal dapat bersama aq ta kisah sakit haty aq , hem sayangnya aq amat menyayangi dy , kenapa aq perlukan semua neh , kenapa aq yang harus tanggung semua neh , kenapa aq selalu tercilap dalam percintaan ,
kenapa aq selalu kehilangan cinta sejatiku , kenapa kau hadir dan pergi , bila aq nak main2 , kau pula serius bersamaku , aq da penat nak setia ,hatyku sakit bila aq setia , aq rindu kau yang bernama cinta , tetapi ap ley buat aq da berpunya ,kalau aq terus berharap pom takda guna , aq yang cari pasangan dahulu , kau ta salah , tapi kenapa bila sorg tu setia dengan aq , dy bukan lah pilihan hatyku , bila aq setia , hatiku di permainkan ,,,

i've made mistake !!!

ohh shit wat ive done ..
wat happen to me .
yeah i no it is becoz i still love him ..
i realy2 love him .
with all my heart ..
oh my god i want him . i no it wont happen becoz i hve another one .. but he is still my love till forever . i need him to survive . oh god i cant sleep ..today my ex ask me to sent him to jetty .
i juz came n brought him there ..
when i am arrive he walk to my car wit his three fren .. n d saddest one he told his friend to sit front with me .. it was so sad .. i juz smile but inside my heart it was pain . its like make my heart bomb ! oh god then he ask me to go to d perumahan kastam . i juz go n when arrive i feel so weird when juz him go out to d house .. n then i ask his fren they tell me dats diz iz his ex gurl house .his first love n now they r togheter back
im so sad but i didnt show it to them .. i juz laugh n ask them again n again . one of their fren ask him is he love her ?? then he said yeah she is is his true love n he loves her so much . then my heart got crack .. ohh damn i hate when my eye full of water . i cant stop it but i  am hppy bcoz i didnt cry front of them .ohh shit it was so ..uh if i cry dat time they will find out dat i stil love him ..it was so surprised dat i didnt cry ...and then i juz laugh in d car n laugh until i feel gud but its stil feel bad i dunno why mayb becoz i feel dat i cant make him happy wit me before .. n then his cousin want to clled him but i ask him not to do .. i said let them ... mayb they missed each other . let them ... n he let them ...then he is so late .
i can feel dat they r so happy inside .. n i make my heart hapy with play wit his fren ... i juz making laugh it was not my true laugh . it was so fake but they didnt relize it .huh im such an actor rite .. n then his cousin go and called him becoz they r lated n afraid they might miss their ferry .
after he arrive i juz drove them to jetty n shake their hand juz like brothers n sister ,
then i go n go with my heart dats full of pain ..
it so hurt ,.
i feel like cant breath ..i cry inside my car n tell my heart to stop thinking of him ...it was so sad n will b my saddest day ,,..
i cry until dis nite ,,.
i still cant forget himm ..
i miss n love him ..
i dunno wat to do now ..
i juz can wait n let time be ..
juz wait n wait
when will my heart will stop think of him .
now i have admit dat i have another one and ill love him like i love him ..
chaiyok!!!.
hemmm

i cant stand anymore !! its hurt

np hidup aq penuh dengan dugaan ,aq sayang dia tetapi aq sudah ada yng lain ,'aq tau dy msih blom berpnya ,hnya kerana hatinya dulu pernh di hancuri ,tetapi kini kau memberiku harapan tatkala aq telah menerima cinta lain ,hatiku sekarang berbelah bagi sama ada kau betol2 mencintaiku atau hnya mnganggap aq ta lbey dari seorang teman rapat,tetapi yang pastinya aq sangt menyayangimu,aq terlalu mencintaimu,mengapa kau hadir tatkala aq bahagia bersama yang lain.kau muncul bersama bayang yang aq tatau adakah cintamu atau kepuraanmu kerana engkau mmg begitu , mencari hati untk d lukai ,
mungkin kau lhat aq seperti tersenyum bla kau bercerita tntg wanita itu or ini ,sebernya hati aq menangis yg teramat ,mengapa kau masih melayan aq seperti dulu ,seperti awek mu , aq sdey sangt ,napa huby .. aq still sayang kau n aq ta mungkin lupa kau kalau semuanya masih seperti ini,semua nya akan menambah rasa sayng aq terhadap kau ,kenapa kau pergi tinggalkan aq dlu dan skrg kau kembali sbg insan yg berbeza ,yang sangt caring n romantic ,i miss you sangat2,apbila aq bersama kamu aq rasa aq tanak dengan yang lain n apbla aq bersama dengan cintaku aq rasa gembira ,bahagia ... siapa sebenarnya aq cinta , siapa sebenarnya aq mahu ??
aq ta tahu tp apbila aq mlhat kau bersama yg lain hatiku menangis bersama mataku ..aq tak tahu smpai bla aq dapat bertahan dengan semua ini , hidup aq semakin hari semakin tak keruan ,semakin hilang arah , aq sudh semaki keliru apbila cintaku sudh betol2 mencintaiku ,,'yang pasti aq sanat mencintai ex ku hingga kini ,,,
aq ta mungkin melupakan kenangan kita bersama wlaupun slpas kita putus ,,'semua masih dalam ingatan ku ,,kau dah racun hidup aq ,,kau dah buang penawaarnya ,,,kini ku di campak dalam harapan yg entah mungkin kesampaian atau tidak kerana aq sudh berpnya ,,ttp aq masih mahu kamoo ..
maafkan yunk b sebb ta dapat berterus terang ,b terlalu baik yunk ta sanggup lukai hati b ,,b harap jika ton meminta hati b kembali terima la dy kembali ,yunk tanak b menangis kerana tingkah yunk yg terok lg ,yunk syg b ,yunk nak b bersama seseirang yng deserve with you ,you deserve more better than me b ,,ur too perfect ,,
im sory ..

cintaku sampai mati b ,,
im sory ..
4 u my hubby ,
m... a.... b. c.. n..